Thursday, April 22, 2010

Bhairvi speaks!

Another full moon...
My body aches as I sneak through my bedroom window...
Have not slept for more than 24 hours...
It's getting harder each day...
He knew that I would come for him...
He was the last from the gang...
A stout man...struggled a bit...
Luckily the tranquilizer worked...
Had to drag him to the cave...precisely taking care that he does not get injured midway...
He was subconscious...or may be fully conscious by the time I waved the blade...just one slash...
I can still hear his voice in my ears...a choking gasp...helpless and silent cry for help...and then blood all over the blade...all over the ground...all over me...
He deserved it...your deeds pay back...past determines your future...

I take a shower...and there's the smell of dirt mixed with aroma of blood...satisfactory...
The restlessness inside me has passed...
It is as if a greater energy leaves my body with the shower...vaporizes...
I stare at the washroom mirror...it's not me...it's HER...

In the darkness, I often see those eyes...stalking me...
Yes, those blood red eyes and the tongue...even redder...
They haunt me...they want me to do it for them...they seek something...
Vengeance...
That's the word which strikes my mind...but I don't know why...and for whom...
May be I should gather some sleep now...
Posted by at

25 comments:

  1. AnonymousApril 22, 2010 at 1:12 PM

    awesum

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownApril 22, 2010 at 10:29 PM

    what a language....... i still didn't get the plot of the story.... but your style of writing is just awsome....

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  3. UnknownApril 22, 2010 at 11:04 PM

    Thanks tech and Anky...
    your comments mean a lot to this initiative...
    and about the plot...you'll soon find out...
    hope you like that too... :D

    ReplyDelete
  4. AniApril 22, 2010 at 11:51 PM

    man u simply rock....i jst can't wait for d whole stry....itna suspense bana diya

    ReplyDelete
  5. inder jeetApril 23, 2010 at 12:09 AM

    it seems awesome...gud luck..

    ReplyDelete
  6. UnknownApril 23, 2010 at 12:12 AM

    Thanks ani and inderbhai...
    more will be coming soon...:)

    ReplyDelete
  7. bhallaApril 23, 2010 at 12:14 AM

    this wt doctor has orderds....indian comics mai isi way ka kam misisng hai...really grasping story telling..best of luck bhai we r wid u !!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Raj...Love Never EndsApril 23, 2010 at 12:31 AM

    hmmmm.. aisa lag raha hai... jaise bhairvi khud me simti hui hai...ek masoon si kali...to chandi ka roop ban chuki hai...jo khud se lad rahi hai...

    guess...mast hogi...bcz i love darker side of life...

    always happiness n silence drew me bored...yaha shayad violence...blackish/ greyish/ darkish shade dekhne ko mile...

    ReplyDelete
  9. UnknownApril 23, 2010 at 12:35 AM

    Thanks bhallabhai and rajbhai...
    we are trying our best and at this stage we need support and encouragement...
    may be we can produce something really nice...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sovan MisraApril 23, 2010 at 1:10 AM

    Yes!! d stry sounds to b intrsting...n ur way of presentation is awsme man.......
    n hats off for swapnil bro...nice cover page...

    n good luck man for ur future , u r going to b the nxt top indian writter...!!!
    --sovan

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  11. karbon85April 23, 2010 at 4:20 AM

    Thanks every one for your appreciation & precious comments. I hope you guy's will like our final output in Bhairvi issue 01. Thanks for supporting us. Please support Indian comic book industry.Those who have their profiles on orkut please join the Bhairvi community. The link is given below-

    http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Community?cmm=100811910

    ReplyDelete
  12. siddharthApril 23, 2010 at 10:23 AM

    whoa.., amazing write up.., sexy visuals. Man, this better be good!! i have reeeaaally high hopes. loads of luck

    sid

    ReplyDelete
  13. UnknownApril 23, 2010 at 11:51 PM

    Thanks friends...we need this support and encouragement to further our initiative...

    ReplyDelete
  14. UnknownApril 24, 2010 at 5:52 AM

    "Vengeance" reminds me f smthing else

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  15. UnknownApril 24, 2010 at 5:58 AM

    i lykd da "pic" a lot

    ReplyDelete
  16. UnknownApril 24, 2010 at 6:06 AM

    thanks re...
    and vengeance...he he...

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  17. RG87April 24, 2010 at 2:44 PM

    Hey, great beginning. Will like to have my hands on over this book when it gets published....

    Raghav

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  18. PrasanjeetMay 12, 2010 at 11:58 PM

    Perfect - "Epilogue", I need to get a few writing tips from you :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. UnknownMay 13, 2010 at 12:08 AM

    Thanks jeetbhai...
    you'll like the complete work too...:D

    ReplyDelete
  20. devMay 13, 2010 at 12:58 AM

    hey what a spendid way of writing...just can't wait for the whole story....

    ReplyDelete
  21. UnknownMay 13, 2010 at 5:50 AM

    Thanks dev...
    hope we will complete it soon...:)

    ReplyDelete
  22. UnknownMay 16, 2010 at 6:47 PM

    abey if the guy gave a cry for help while the slash then why there is a question of consciousness

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  23. UnknownMay 17, 2010 at 12:54 AM

    @nissar...
    subconscious mind does it too,it's reflex...
    you can ask somebody who sells lamb meat...:D

    ReplyDelete
  24. KomalJune 9, 2010 at 12:15 PM

    It can b still better.... keep wrking harder my frnd... wel its a nice writeup... but can wrk more on it...

    ReplyDelete
  25. UnknownJune 17, 2010 at 8:58 AM

    Thanks a lot komal...
    do read the 2nd one too...

    ReplyDelete

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